


Wrong Apartment?

by orphan_account



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: All typos are intentional, But there's small mentions to violence so I figured some people would want a fair warning, Not actually graphic depictions of violence, Peter Being A Dumbass, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Social Media, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Abe catches Peter entering Deadpool's apartment. Peter proceeds to spill a whole lot of truth in their groupchat, confusing them all.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Ned Leeds/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Academic Decathlon Team (Spider-Man: Homecoming), Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 565





	Wrong Apartment?

Abe spots Peter in his apartment's hallway, leaning against the wall near a door, hand wrapped tightly around his midsection. 

"Uh, Peter, I think you have the wrong apartment," Abe says nervously, really wishing Peter (and himself) weren't anywhere near that door. 

"No I don't," Peter says, sure of himself. 

"Peter, that's Deadpool's apartment," Abe whispers, fear evident. 

"Yeah, I know. Wade!" Peter wraps his knuckles on the door again, ignoring Abe's silent protests. 

The door opens, and Deadpool - well, Wade, since he's out of suit - stands in the doorway. He passes a first aid kit to Peter and puts a hand on his shoulder, leading him in. 

"Your buddy'll have to stay outside," Wade says to Peter, who gives a halfhearted wave at Abe behind his back. Abe just stares as the door closes behind Peter and Deadpool (who hadn't really spared him a glance). Abe stands there in shock for a moment before realizing he's still standing in front of Deadpool's apartment, then he rushes back to his place. 

_"Academic" Decathlon Team_

**Abe:** you guys remember how i said deadpool lived in my complex????

 **Cindy:** yeah?

 **Charles:** did you see him

 **Flash:** what happened

 **Abe:** peter just went into that apartment????

 **Sally:** maybe you got the wrong apartment?

 **Abe:** no no no

 **Abe:** see look

 **Abe:** I see peter and i tell him its DEADPOOLS apartment and all he says is

 **Abe:** i know

 **Charles:** what

 **Abe:** and then fucking deadpool opens the door and just leads him in

 **Abe:** no protests from either

 **Flash:** holy shit parkers going to merc someone

 **Peter:** first off no

 **Abe:** i forgot you were in this chat tbh

 **Peter:** there are so many reasons why that isn't what im doing???

 **Sally:** then what?????

 **Peter:** one) have you seen dp's rates???? Nothing i can afford

 **Peter:** two) i have noone to merc

 **Peter:** three) wade does NOT merc for children. Do you know anything about him???

 **MJ:** most people dont, no

 **Peter:** four) i wouldn't do that

 **Peter:** five) if i did why wouldn't i do it myself

 **Charles:** that last bit was vaguely terrifying wth

 **Peter:** as it should be

 **Sally:** did you... Kill someone???

 **Peter:** no but bold of you to assume i didnt track down uncle bens murderer

 **Cindy:** ok trust me well circle back to that but uhhhhhhh

 **Cindy:** deadpools apartment????

 **Peter:** oh dont worry about it im just borrowing his first aid kit

 **Charles:** dOnt wOrrY abOut iT I aM JUST borRoWiNG a WoRld famoUS meRcEnaryS FiRsT aiD KIt

 **Charles:** nothing to see here

 **Abe:** just your average teenager

 **Flash:** why the fuck do you even know deadpool

 **Peter:** before you start making assumptions

 **Peter:** hes helped me out in some tight situations okay?

 **Peter:** hes a really nice guy actually

 **Sally:** im done im out

 **Charles:** the mercenary is a NICE guy??????

 **Flash:** penis you need therapy

 **Peter:** yeah probably

 **Ned:** yes definitely

 **MJ:** but not for the reasons you think

 **Peter:** oh there you are. Done leaving me to suffer alone?

 **MJ:** dramatic

 **Ned:** dude you gotta leanr how to clean up ur messes

 **Ned:** were helping out here

 **Peter:** fairsies

 **Cindy:** okay i think now might be a good time to circle back around

 **Abe:** yeah I wanna know

 **Flash:** ...same

 **Peter:** *shrug* sometimes you become so consumed with grief and teenage angst you accidentally become a vigilante

 **MJ:** happens to the best of us

 **Peter:** exactly

 **Cindy:** no no no i need details

 **Charles:** yeah you cant just drop a bomb like that and leave it dude

 **Peter:** ok so guy had blond hair and a star tattoo and was a male criminal

 **Sally:** with you so far

 **Peter:** so i threatened any male blonde criminal

 **Sally:** lost me

 **Peter:** oof

 **Abe:** no offense but you are ... Tiny????

 **Abe:** how did you threaten people

 **Peter:** getting criminals mad enough so they follow you as you parkour and then holding them off of rooftops works surprisingly well

 **Charles:** I am... Intimidated

 **MJ:** yet turned on

 **Ned:** me too

 **Sally:** ignoring that...

 **Cindy:** PETER WHAT THE FUCK

 **Abe:** ^^^^^^

 **Sally:** that works too

 **Peter:** look i never said i was mentally a table

 **Peter:** stable

 **Peter:** but that too

 **Cindy:** CLEARLT

 **Peter:** okay uh do yall need my whole life story next or are we done

 **Abe:** nah man

 **Cindy:** WTF WTF WTF

 **Charles:** same

 **Charles:** also no not done

 **Flash:** just wait until may hears abt this

 **Peter:** oh she already knows

 **Peter:** look guys i get this must be a real shocker that i, puny parker, am capable of parkour, but maybe save for in person like at practice or smthn????

 **Cindy:** it is NOT the parkour were stuck on!

 **Peter:** jokes, Cindy. They're how i deal with life. 

**Charles:** that sounds vaguely unhealthy

 **Peter:** no

 **MJ:** so so

 **Ned:** *vague hand motions*

 **Abe:** you guys are in on this???

 **Ned:** so so

 **MJ:** *vague hand motions*

 **Peter:** i love how no ones even asking why i needed a first aid kit

 **MJ:** i just assumed you got stabbed again and would be fine, but do tell

 **Ned:** sorry

 **Ned:** you good?

 **Charles:** AGAIN???

 **Peter:** yeah im good thx for asking

 **Peter:** might be late to school tomorrow tho

 **Ned:** just don't bother coming man

 **MJ:** yeah you can take a day off since you were (assumed) stabbed

 **Peter:** if i did that for every time I think I'd be expelled

 **Ned:** F

 **MJ:** F

 **Abe:**?????¿¿¿?????????$?#_=_×(×(!(&:&!_÷???????

 **Peter:** oops

 **MJ:** yet another suffers from peters dumbassery

 **Peter:** ny bad

 **Peter:** *My but yeah in a way its ny's fault too

 **Ned:** lol

 **Charles:** so....

 **Flash:** this has got to be some popularity thing

 **Peter:** i wish

 **Peter:** but no

 **Peter:** my life is just that bad

 **MJ:** F

 **Ned:** F

 **Cindy:** ...F


End file.
